Over The River And Through The Woods To Union Falls We Go

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but we have made friends with our boss Gill and his fiance Nicole. They are super nice and we hang out from time to time and always have fun. So when they suggested going on a hike we were all for it. When he said it was a 16 mile hike, I had to think about it. The longest hike I have ever completed was eight miles. Gill is a pretty good salesman and made it sound like a blast with a huge reward at the end of the first leg, Union Falls, where several rivers come together and make a vail-like falls. It sounded spectacular.

The next day we met for an early breakfast and drove to Yellowstone for the start of the hike. On the way there Gill got a call from work that the computer system crashed and he needed to come in. I should have taken that as a sign that I wasn't meant to go on a 16 mile hike. About an hour later the computers were fixed and we were on our way, yet again to the hike from hell....I mean the hike to Union Falls. It started out innocent enough, with the mosquitoes eating us alive in the parking lot. A short ways into the hike we had to cross a knee deep (or upper thigh deep for us short folk) stream, which was actually quite cool, both literally and figuratively.

I like when a hike has different elements so that it is not boring and I will say that this hike was definitely not boring. We crossed streams, hiked through mud (where I almost lost my shoe), dust, Logepole pines, brush, rocky downhills, more streams, bypassed the hot springs (because it was just too darn hot outside to jump in a hot pool), and ultimately ended at Union Falls. Just as promised, it was spectacular. We ate our packed lunch and watched the falls....well... fall, took pictures, and then started the trek back. Mind you we had gone eight miles, only half way into the hike. We still had to hike the eight miles back the way we came.

I think ten miles was my breaking point. I was doing great, joking and telling stories, but then we started climbing up hill, step, by awful step. Gill and Nicole were way ahead and it was just Scott and I. Out of the kindness of their heart or pity, I don't know which, they would wait for us from time to time. I knew it was bad when I couldn't speak anymore. Both dehydrated and heat exhausted I thought I was going to pass out, but I trudged on. Scott stopped telling me it was almost over after I pretty much took his head off with my glare.

I was so happy by the end I forgot about the 10 miles of very bumpy dirt road that we took out to the hike and now had to drive back on. Now that the adrenaline wore off, and with the car rocking back and forth, the nausea started to set in. Yes folks this is the part of the story I would much rather forget. I got sick in front of my boss. At least I had the grace to make it out of the car. Not the highlight of my career.

Needless to say I don't think we will be doing any more 16 mile hikes even if there was a pot of gold at the end. Okay, maybe for a pot of gold.